If you had told me that cancer was in my cards, I would have laughed! In December, I went to a walk in clinic for a sinus infection, and came out with cancer!
Well there are a few other things that happened, which is another story for another post, but the short of it is…I was told I had half the blood I was supposed to have, a tumor the size of a grapefruit, and it was CANCER! No symptoms, no pain…yet cancer.
I had been told by my friend Sheba, a breast cancer survivor, that cancer doesn’t hurt. I had comforted myself with that for years when I would have an ache or pain. And then, all of the sudden I wanted it to hurt, so I could assure myself it wasn’t cancer, that the doctors were wrong. Fear flooded my mind with vivid pictures of death and milestones and moments I would miss in my life and the lives of my children. Graduations, weddings, grandkids. Fear, better known as satan himself, had overcome me! Cancer is scary!
All of the sudden, this physically and mentally strong girl became weak. I allowed satan to play way too much. Physical pain, mental anguish, and insomnia all took me to a dark, deep valley. I found myself in a place I had never been, even through losing both of my parents before the age of forty. How did I get there? But more importantly…how was I gonna get out?
Sometimes, it’s funny how God works. Every night that I had insomnia, the only thing on TV was evangelistic preachers. So all night, for five or six nights post surgery, I would watch them preach. Then, one night, I was introduced to Andy Wommack, an evangelical preacher, and his topic was healing. It was thru his preaching of the Word that I began to gain confidence with cancer. Most of the time we view cancer as a death sentence, but I began to see it as a life sentence. I began to believe the verse that I had been claiming for myself since my diagnosis, Isaiah 41:13. “I am the Lord your God, who takes your right hand and says to you DO NOT FEAR; I will help you.”
It’s funny how, even though I know God and I know His promises are true and I have experienced His faithfulness, I still had fear. Why is that? Because I am human. The Bible says the phrase “FEAR NOT” 365 times! Yea, you got it! One for every day of the year! Do you think God intended for us to know and walk in that truth every day? I do! As each day passes, I find myself quoting “FEAR NOT” as the negative thoughts, that I am sure every cancer patient hears, try to creep in.
Let me share with you how cancer has grown my confidence. First, and foremost, it has made me grateful for what the Lord has done for me. His death on the cross, that I may be healed by His stripes! I remember one night telling myself, “If He can hang on a cross, I can do cancer!” I now quote Phillipians 4:13 like this “I can do ALL things (even cancer) thru Christ who gives me strength.” A verse I have quoted since a young age, now has a deeper meaning and has given me a “dig your heels in” kind of confidence.
You see, sometimes we don’t think our vice is included in that “ALL”, but I guarantee you it is! Try it, quote that scripture inserting your vice (addiction, illness, heartache) into the verse, and I guarantee God will bring you confidence in your situation, thru His Word!
I have gained confidence thru my journey with cancer. Confidence that God has got this! (People kept saying that to me, and with an eye roll, I would say a non-believing yes!) He has given me confidence that I am in the process of being refined thru this journey and that He is carrying me through this valley for His Glory! I am reminded this truth by the verse “ALL THINGS (even cancer) work together for good, for those who love Jesus and are called according to His purpose!” Romans 8:28 He is already using my story to encourage and empower others to fight their fight! I am confidently, thru Christ, embracing my diagnosis and claiming healing for His glory! You can too!
🧡
His blessed girl,
Leslee
For more His Blessed Girl, go to the next post.