FOR THE GRANDS.
A legacy is the story of someones life, the things they did, places they went, goals they accomplished, their failures, and more. It’s something that a person leaves behind to be remembered by.
Lolo Ben’s mom, my kid’s Lola and your lola sa tuhod (great grandmother) died May 12, 2020.
We want our children and grandchildren to know about their heritage.
Their legacy.
Her name was Pacita de la Santos Mallari, and she was 80 years old when she died from complications caused by dementia. She was petite, maybe 100 pounds at her heaviest, but was a fiesty spitfire with an infectious laugh that let nothing get in her way. She was the matriarch of her family and she lived that definition well. Your Lolo Ben, named after your great grandfather Ben, remembers her working, coming home to cook for her husband and four children (Great Auntie Marien, your Lolo Ben, Great Auntie Gina, and Great Uncle Bong/Bernard), and then leaving again to go to another job to work. Your great grandparents were very, very hard workers. I’ve learned this from all the stories I’ve been told over the past 29 years of being married to your Lolo.
Your great grandparents were from the Philippines. Pacita was living in Cambodia when she met your great grandfather, Benjamin (Ben, Sr.) Mallari. While we were going through her photo albums right after she passed, we found several letters that Ben had written to her before they were married. Beautiful love letters declaring his love for her and his intention to make her his wife. He was a surveyor and traveled extensively so he was gone most of the time during their courtship. *You’re asking yourself ‘What in the world is courtship?’ These days we call it dating. Back then they called it courting.
So these letters just fell out of her photo albums. We had never seen them before and they made your Lolo so happy. We sat and read letters and looked at photos for a while. I listened to your Lolo tell stories of when he was a child. It’s fascinating hearing the tales of a different culture. A different life in a different country.
Your great grandfather Ben died 24 years ago of pancreatitis when your Uncle Jacob was 4 weeks ok. He was only 62. We know your great Lola is so happy to be seeing him and sitting with Jesus now.